Happy Valentine’s Day
No matter what your relationship status is on this commercial holiday, take a moment to enjoy whatever brings you love today.
We all need a little more love in our lives.
What’s on your Valentine’s Day wish list?
Chocolate?
Candy?
Flowers?
Dinner?
Jewelry?
Lingerie?
Other?
Cinnamon Popcorn (made with Red Hots Candy) is my newest favorite treat. That’s what I made for myself.
An open-table Galentine’s Day Gathering – all identities welcome
What’s on your Galentine’s Wish List?
What books would you like to talk about?
What’s your favorite snack and beverage?
Polyamory isn’t a trend. It is a way of loving. It doesn’t need a novelty holiday, but why pass up an opportunity to celebrate? Happy Creative Romance Month. Cheers to celebrating life and love with creativity, intention, and heart.
Polyamory Discovery: Inner Drive or Fate
Interest in polyamory seems to come from a mix of inner fire and cosmic nudge. Some call it innate wiring awakening, where a door naturally opens when someone is ready.
It isn’t magic. Polyamory discovery mirrors a rabbit hole dive. Both start with a curious peek, then spiral into obsession, revelation, and no turning back.
The road of discovery may challenge identity, relationships, and norms.
Let’s address the opposition to Polyamory
Jealousy: jealousy happens in all relationships. I’ve discussed this in many posts. It’s about how you deal with it that is important.
Stability: 40% of all marriages end in divorce. It is a lot of pressure to expect one person to suit all of your physical, emotional, and intellectual needs for an entire lifetime.
Cultural Norms: Why must people yuck others’ yum?
Ethical Doubts: 65% of people cheat at least once. Marriage isn’t a shield against cheating. And open relationships are not a form of cheating.
Practical Hurdles: All relationships face challenges. Those challenges aren’t the same for every couple, regardless of the type of dynamic.
Sharing feelings, particularly when one might feel shame, is not easy.
But doing the hard thing often has better results
Jealousy can occur in any type of relationship, but it is often an issue discussed in polyamorous relationships.
Exploring Polyamory in Romance Novels
Overruling Judgment
Defending Engagement
Willful Parties
Jealousy is a topic that I find intriguing in romantic relationships.
While doing research as an author, I recently came across this differentiation between cognitive and emotional jealousy. This would be a great concept to explore while developing the motivation behind characters’ motivations.
While many people talk about the goal of compersion in polyamory, it is very natural for feelings of jealousy to arise.
Both emotions can occur simultaneously.
Jealousy doesn’t mean that polyamory is failing. The key is to communicate openly about it and address the underlying triggers through self-reflection.
Compersion is a bonus in polyamory, not a requirement.
Polyamory thrives on consent, communication, and mutual respect, not specific feelings.
Polyamory is not automatically “better” than monogamy. It is just a different relationship style that suits some people’s needs “better.”
It’s not a question of “better.” Polyamory is breaking free of the assumed monogamish assumption. Polamory opens up discussions about values, capacity, and what works for a set of people.
Books by Liz Ellyn where polyamory is challenged:
Overruling Judgment
Defending Engagement
Indulge in Life's Guilty Pleasures 